- Make sure that your three-year old is sweetly tucked in his bed, sound asleep in the midst of his normal two and a half hour nap.
- Turn on the oven...really hot...to 400 degrees, at least
- Forget that the week before you spilled some gooey, sugary syrup in the oven when making a marvelous, way too fattening dessert to eat late at night with your hubby when the kids are in bed. (See recipe for this dessert here...You don't think I want to be the only one 20 pounds overweight do you?)
- Foolishly, leave the kitchen to play with your five year old
- Upon returning to the kitchen, open the oven door really wide when you see the smoke...because it makes more sense to let out a huge billow of smoke instead of simply turning off the oven when you see a few wisps.
Now once you've done these five easy steps...simply sit back, wait for the 700 bizillion fire alarms that have been expertly installed in your new home, (and all connected I might add...just in case you can't hear the screeching alarm sounding in the kitchen) to go off and your three-year old to start screaming. Then spend the next two weeks comforting your child who will now not only take a nap without someone holding his hand but won't even allow you to go leave a room and is constantly asking, "that alarm going to beep?" Does anyone have the number of a good therapist? I think I may have traumatized my kid for life...